When I wrote about 12 things gentlemen wish ladies knew, a lot of controversies trailed my item 7 where I revealed that guys always discussed the sexual/romantic encounters they have with their girlfriends to their own male friend(s). My position was that it was natural and inevitable. A lot of tart remarks came from the ladies. They argued strongly against what I posited; they tagged it as a cheap cop-out. Their argument was that it was completely puerile for gentlemen to behave so blabby. I didn’t escape the backlash of my girlfriend either.
For guys, most of the time, the intention is usually to keep quiet and forget about what happened. We know that it is not proper for us to speak, but somehow, nature plays out.
While I was at Crawford University, I had a room mate who always came back to the room every evening to give an apt description of how he hugged his girlfriend and how she hugged him, too.
He describes it so well that in his description, you’ll begin to envision them hugging. Now, that’s just a hug.
Imagine you travelled to Dubai on a 2-week vacation and during your sojourn, you had a lot of fun and did so many exciting things. Naturally, on returning to your home in Ogbomosho, you would give a lowdown on your experience in Dubai to at least, one human. Why? Excitement.
Similarly, excitement is one of the reasons why gentlemen blab. While ladies find it difficult to stay mute during the series of actions because of excitement, gentlemen, on the other hand, begin to feel excited much later and by that time, we enter the auto-speak mode. Complacently, we reel out the details without an aura of guilt. Sometimes, when we even hit your sensitive parts unknowingly, we go ahead to gist someone about it especially when it’s not that of any random girl.
On another note, many of us are of the opinion that it is an heroic feat when we have horizontal refreshments with some selected females, especially the ones always carrying the tag: “hard to get,” or the ones that are described as Grade A. We feel that we deserve dignifying medals having achieved such a radical stunt. We pride ourselves before our peers.
We feel so fulfilled that sometimes, we (Olaniyi excluded) have to take photos, or videos, to keep as souvenirs because when we brag about such feats to friends, many may doubt. They’ll call us vociferous liars because they know what kind of girl we are talking about. They’ll ask for proof.
Sometimes, it is so terrible that we place cheap bets on females. During my secondary school days, I had friends who would bet their paltry meals.
On the other hand, when we speak of our sexual encounters with our girlfriends, it’s usually done spontaneously. The intent is not to incite mischief or demean her person. For a girlfriend we respect, we never speak of the intricate details but we must at least, say something. It happens that there is this particular guy(s) who was with us throughout our struggle of getting you to say yes. The moment you said yes, we frolicked to him to say, “Guy, the babe don finally gree!” We tell him when we quarrel. We tell him when we break up and of course, we tell him of our first experience parting your red sea.
When you then bag the “ex” title, whatever we say at this time is said to vilify and assassinate your personality. We would hold a community meeting to discuss how bad you were. We reveal details that will awe people. We exaggerate and sometimes, we even lie. These acts are agreeably childish, crass and cruel but they are also driven by ineffable forces. I must reiterate that it is an inevitable part of our youth.
Ladies may now have to choose between the rock and the hard place: That is, to choose between completely preventing us from coming close to you sexually, or dealing with all that blab. What I cannot say for sure is if this blabby attitude continues even after marriage.
Aderuku, is a final year student of the Department of Mass Communication, JABU, and Deputy Editor of Torch Campus Magazines. He can be reached via 0703 834 3521.
This piece is written by Olaniyi Aderuku (2017) and it is solely his thought on the issue.