You cringe each time I try to hold your hand or hug you tight, and each time I try to have a proper conversation with you, you reply with nods, if you reply at all.
You treat me like a filthy roll of toilet paper when you’re with your friends and kiss your teeth at every single word I say. I introduced you to my friend and she became your better half. I don’t get to hear your plans until the public does. Was I foolish to have believed when you said I would always be your favourite person in the world? Was it wrong for me to have thought I had found a friend in you?
Every passing day, my mind flashes back to the day you yelled at me right at the centre of new hall because I got your food order wrong, food I bought with my money!
All the awkward hellos and his in our texts bring tears to my eyes; ‘hellos’ being the texts I send to check up on you and ‘his’ being the follow up texts I send when the blue ticks on your whatsapp indicates that you have read and ignored my ‘hellos’. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. You’ve made me delusional and crazy, overly emotional and even suicidal.
What happened to our laughs about nothing in particular? What happened to our shared likeness for jollof in party coolers? What happened to you? What happened to me? What happened to perfect? What happened to us? I still see you in my dreams and your name still pops up when I have to list people I would go the extra mile for. But after all we shared, you did all that you did. You bent me so much that the only thing left for me to do was break, and now, I am broken.
You forget that I dusted you up the many times you fell, and now, you’re standing strong. You forget that all the love I ever had, I gave to you. You forget that you promised to be the peanut butter to my jelly. You forget that no one on the planet can ever come close to how well I treat you. You forget me, you forget us. Now, it’s clear that the only way for me to go is away. It’s clear that there’s no way we can ever work things out, no way. It’s clear that this is the end of the road for us, bestfriend, the very end.
As I let the sun sit on my very distressed face, I try to convince myself that you’ll realise how stupid you were to have let me go. I console myself with hopes that you, my ex-friend, are going to miss me when I’m gone.
Written by: FeezahWrites.
Photo source: Google Chrome Images.