I am more of an introvert but I began to try out mixing with people, making friends and enjoying cool outings with them after learning from my mentor that people are like flood and you can meet anywhere in life. I was talking to some friends when one of them broke the silence between us, saying, “before anyone can criticize someone else, they must first examine themselves to see if they have a log in their own eye”. He continued by saying that you should put yourself to the test of standard of conduct by carefully examining yourself to see if you are doing the right thing. This never made any sense to me until I learnt from a conversation in a cartoon strip between Linus and Lucy. Linus asked Lucy saying, “Why are you so anxious to criticize me?” Lucy responded, “I just think I have a knack for seeing other people’s faults.” “What about your own faults?”, Linus snapped at her. Lucy in her self-righteousness, responded, “I have a knack for overlooking them.”
I linked this up with another saying by a medical student, “you can’t diagnose me when you also have the same disease. Hey, diagnose yourself and work on yourself before you focus on me”. Remember that two wrongs never make a right. Why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in yours? Solve your problems before getting into another people’s business.
Like most people, when they have a problem with someone, they focus on what the person did wrong without also looking at what they didn’t do right or didn’t do at all. After laying down the entire wrong of the person, it still doesn’t change any fact nor does it lead to reconciliation. Remember it takes two to tango. Even the Holy bible says, “ why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank that is in your own eye?” I still can’t find an answer to this.
Note the following:
- It is extremely rare that one person is completely right and one person is completely wrong. Honestly address your own faults.
- Never say, “I act the way I do because of how he/she treats me”. By saying this you are giving the other person so much power to control your actions.
- You must overcome anger and not use it as an excuse. The faster you accept and start controlling your bad temper the better for you and those around. Remember no one is flawless.
- Let go of past griefs. Though they say revenge is best served cold but you only find peace when you let go and watch destiny decide what comes next.
- Always remember that the change you make inspires others to change as well; its up to you to decide if you act positively or otherwise.
- In a conflict, try asking yourself, “I’m I the problem? Did I contribute to the problem? How can I help in resolving the issue?”
- Be respectful, correct in love, don’t blame yourself for everything that happens and don’t concentrate on other’s fault.
- Learn to talk about your problems to people that won’t make you feel bad about your situation.
When we focus our attention on the faults of others we become blind to our mistakes.
This piece is written by Ojo Favour (2017) a medical student of Kursk State Medical University, Russia. The photo source is google chrome.